The convertible top is down, and it’s still hot as hell. There’s no wind and the sun is whacking me like a sledgehammer. When I press the pedal to floor there’s a flow of air as the car picks up speed. It’s still hot air, but at least it’s moving. I pass a Hassidic Jew...

There’s a bird in the bush outside my apartment chirping his fucking ass off. As soon as the sun pops up he does his little bird thing, all cheerful and happy sounding. Tweet, tweet, tweet, and I want to kill him. He’s been doing this for the last few weeks. Every morning I wake up...